forza is amazing.

so last night i spent four and a half hours playing forza, most of them online against shackers.

forza, for those of you who do not live completely in the gaming world, is a racing simulator, probably the best one out there. you can drive almost any car, and the controls are very lifelike.

i haven't played a racing game (save mariokart, which i also suck at) since daytona on the sega saturn. and i was TERRIBLE at that game. but i really, really, REALLY love playing online with people, even if i finish in dead last every time. so i hopped on with multisync, and we created the shortbus squad, racing B class cars (which is middle tier.)

and yes, i was terrible. i rarely finished a race, and often i just had to crash into people because i was scared that avoiding them would make me spin out. and yes, i'm sure most people found it maddening, but i was very apologetic, laughed when they took me out in retaliation, and by god, i CANNOT WAIT TO DO IT AGAIN TONIGHT.

so much fun.

xbox live rules. especially since you have a headset that can make you talk shit as you swerve wildly around the track.

why i love shackers.

they wrote some haikus about me:

driving a fast car
whether forza or real life
very hard for seacow

No sex for you Mike
My bug is too hard to drive
Will you marry me

flippers on the wheel
let's see chim chim do this
road rage seadonkey!

hair wee!

so i got bored. i haven't cut my hair in like, a year. and it was wicked long. and, because i find that male-dominated gaming forums to be the best place to get hair styling advice, i took a poll on the shack about how i should do my hair, including pictures of how my hair looked now, and different cuts and colors i got in the past.

then i went to dop dop salon in soho, and worked with nicole, who rocks, and got the best cut and color since i was like, 16 years old. and i'm very happy. of course, this hair cut meant i got carded ordering wine on sunday, and my father said i looked like a stupid high schooler... but you know, if it pisses your father off, that probably means you're doing something right.

mike made a nice before and after gallery for me. i love my sexy trying-to-pout look (lol) and also the amazing face i'm making in the last "before" picture. see my hair!


so my ipod nano came today. WEE. i'm so excited, so i went out at lunch and got a case and the nike running kit. WEE.

then i go to charge my ipod for my running date with asked tonight.

no workie.

next computer.

no workie.

make a reservation at apple. go in and show it to them. they tell me it's dead. DOA. d-e-d. i cry.

then they tell me they have none to give me, nor does the store uptown. and because it was bought off amazon, i can't have a new one from the tons they have downstairs. i have to get one ordered in. it will take a day to a week.

so i will pray i get it tomorrow, and stare at the 60$ of nike equipment i just bought, and be annoyed.

yes. i know. i have a shuffle and a video. i KNOW. i am a spoiled brat. but i'm really, really excited about using this nike tracker thing to do a challenge against shackers. super excited. i think it's going to take my workout to a new level of aggression and competition i have yet to attain.

and you will probably see it all posted here.

fuck you, lisa.

i was going to post this to the shack, but i stopped myself:
ugh. i'm pissed.

once i had a stepmother. i suppose she thought taking in 15 and 18 year old girls would be cake, and they would assimilate into her life easily. sadly, that didn't happen. she ended up kicking my sister out of the house, divorced my father messily and broke the news of that fact by telling me i couldn't come to my stepgrandfather's funeral or ever come home for christmas in a week, or ever again. never saw her, my dog, or stepsister ever again. she let me leave the presents in the mailbox.

anyway, she's a shitty novelist and now apparently a columnist for a newspaper. after years of silence, i guess she had a use for me:

q[Wine vinegar looks anemic after balsamic, and the water bottle has replaced the Thermos. We have calculators and laptops, iPods and Blueteeth. And we have lots of first days that we never had before, and never expected to have. We get downsized and relocated, we change jobs and careers, we leave the mommy track and then jump back on, we telecommute, we e-mail work everywhere. We marry and divorce. We acquire stepchildren and then lose them again.]q

thanks, lise, glad i was acquired. last time i checked, though, you didn't lose us. we got kicked out.

i reiterate my title. fuck you lisa. burn in hell.

oh god, it came, and then i did.

woo dirty title. sorry, sa. you can delete that from your mind now.

anyway: http://orbit.vect.org/?gallery=46

so yesterday on the shack, people who went into macbook fulfillment on the 27th and 28th began getting their macbooks. i freak out, because i went into fulfillment on the 28th. i make mike leave at 6 pm (bless that man, seriously, he has the patience of a saint with me) to go see if we got anything.

apparently when he saw 2 ups slips on the door he was trying not to flip out himself. we tracked the package and it was an 11 pound something from Harrisburg PA. we decided it was nothing from my sister or from the coffee place, and since mike's laptop was 11 pounds shipped, it was a good chance it was my macbook.

so why was i not already at UPS? here's the crux: i was having dinner with dad, pam, and tim. at 7. and it was 6.40.

seriously, the ONLY REASON i didn't have mike miss dinner and pick it up was because i KNEW that was a REALLY SHITTY THING TO DO (and my father would yell at me and it's not worth that.)

so i sat through dinner, knowing i probably wouldn't get my macbook till monday because mike said the place closed at 8. but then at the end of dinner i called and they were open till 9.

we ran/bounced/gyrated our way to UPS.

the package came.

i kissed the man who gave it to me (not really).

i took it home and stripped it down.

we mad sweet, sweet love.

but in all seriousness, i was a macgirl back in the day. i remember my father giving me my performa when i was in 6th grade, throwing myself on the box and SCCCCREAMING. but, alas. father convinced me to get a gateway laptop in 9th grade because windows was more versatile.

but now mac has made a comeback. i can use this hot ass laptop for all my normal needs nad use my tricked out windows rig for gaming.



i'm still learning how to use it and i won't have all my software installed still i rendesvous with dad this weekend. but eddie spent a lot of time on ichat video with me teaching me all the tricks of optimization, and asked will help me more tonight/tomorrow.

by the way, it's pure sex.

mike, i adore you and owe you like. lots and lots of cupcakes. if cupcakes mean idol worship.


an ode to james blocke.

blog peoples.

i have to say, james blocke is my rock. like a little lego of awesome, i adore him.

we now know that he a. listens to played and b. likes strategy games. moreover, he's a shacker who appears to have at least at some point thought i might have dignity or clout. WHICH IS AWESOME IF HE IS A SHACKER AND KNEW ME BEFORE THIS BLOG.

also, he's stuck around, and commented, but yet not given into the two traps i laid seeking his identity on the shack AND the played forums. to have the will to stay back from those? you are a man of steel.

he has passed my IP checks, so even if he is a hoax, james blocke, you are now a 3D pixel fixture in the rendering of my life. when i think i'm too emo, when i think i'm getting in too deep, and mixing the internet worlds of myself together, stirring the pot, when i think "god, what if everyone in all realms of my life heard this? what then?" and i think of you.

but you know what? it's cool. you're cool. and my sister thinks you are cool. (here's a sidenote, sarah, in the ode to james blocke, an ode to you. you are the bestest ever. seriously. and i wouldn't be so downtrodden about how i think you think of me if i didn't always want to be the little overpriced diamond in your belly button which you haven't gotten since you are a lameass. which, in short, means that even if i think you judge me, really i think you are spectacular and you walk on water like jesus. who, according to a talkshow, has risen again and is trying to prove to the world he exists. which would be really fucking hard to do if you were jesus, you know? i mean, goddamn. anyway. i'm digressing, i love you.)

and james blocke? i love you too.

you little lego man, you.

puzzle pirates is eating my brain.

so back in 2004 i got sucked into this game. i didn't realize how much i played it till the shackers started making noises about starting a shackcrew. i said i'd captain it. as of tonight, i think i'll have enough experience to become a captain. which is rad. also, ridiculous.

i was up till 2 am for the past 2 nights playing this game.

i am exhausted.

hay, make me famous (lol)


this is my podcast. the wonderful shackers put it on up digg. i'm desiring to get it up higher in the rankings because... i don't know. i can?

i know just about 2 of you read this, but, c'mon. digg's awesome. sign up. digg my podcast.

i'll give you a cookie. :-(

cooking mama is the shit.

i know. it's sad. i really didn't want it to come to this.

i even inadvertantly cleared my data and instead of being like "goddamnit i have to go through all of them AGAIN" i was like "YES i'm going to silver coin at least all of them!"

it's so sad.

when people ask me what i'm doing, i reply something like "trying to figure out how to fucking measure the water accurately."

i really need to go get me some shoot em up games and stop being such a pussy.

ps. hi knitemare! ^_^